Posted by Marie Poppins on June 18, 2019 in Legal
Divorce is a very serious procedure and nobody should get through it alone. Divorce tips Find a community of support. “I don’t mean a self-help group. Rather, find 1 or 2 friends who you can talk to about your feelings, and who will check in on you. DO NOT talk to married people. They won’t understand what you’re going through and will unintentionally make you feel worse. Also, stay away from judgmental people. Formerly divorced friends were my best supporters during this time.”
If you are currently using a desk calendar or day planner, include your divorce events. You will need to track meetings with your lawyer and especially court deadlines. It may be helpful to also keep track of discussions with your spouse. A divorce calendar may be used as evidence in your case when your spouse did not keep an appointment, or violated an agreement or court order in some fashion. Visitation dates with children need to be written down. You will also want to keep track of appointments with your children’s teachers, doctors, coaches, and tutors. This may become evidence of your participation in your children’s lives in your divorce.
People who treat their divorce like a business transaction, and to the extent possible, control their emotions so their decisions are based on their best interests and not their hurt feelings, fare much better. For instance, some people might argue endlessly over values of certain assets, when in reality, if they just compromised they would save in attorney’s fees and time. Sometimes people do prioritize what is most important and spend time and energy arguing over assets that might not have a significant value while ignoring the more valuable parts of the marital estate. Sometimes people get hung up over how something is characterized — for example, they might agree to a one-time cash payment to their spouse but balk if that same payment is labeled “attorney’s fees.” Taking a step back, looking at the big picture, and understanding the cost of fighting as well as potential risks and rewards will serve anyone well during a divorce.
If you and your spouse can work together to reach a fair settlement on most or all of the issues in your divorce (eg., child custody, child support, alimony, and property division), choosing mediation to resolve your divorce case may save thousands of dollars in legal fees and emotional aggravation. The mediation process involves a neutral third-party mediator (an experienced family law attorney trained in mediation) that meets with the divorcing couple and helps them reach an agreement on the issues in their divorce. Mediation is completely voluntary; the mediator will not act as a judge, or insist on any particular outcome or agreement.
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